Preparing for the Unexpected: What to Do When a Parent's Health Declines Suddenly

No one wants to think about their aging parents experiencing a sudden health crisis, but being unprepared can make an already stressful situation overwhelming. Knowing what steps to take in advance can help you act swiftly and make informed decisions, whether it's a fall, a stroke, or a sudden medical emergency. Planning ahead ensures your loved one gets the best care possible. It helps you and your family navigate these moments with clarity and confidence.

Here's how to prepare for the unexpected and safeguard your parent's health and wishes.

Emergency Planning for Health Crises

Medical emergencies can happen at any time. Even if your parents are independent and healthy, being ready is crucial. Being proactive means less scrambling and confusion when an urgent situation arises.

Have Emergency Contacts and Medical Information Ready

Keep a list of emergency contacts, including your parent's primary doctor, specialists, preferred hospital, close family members, caregivers, and health insurance provider.

In addition, create a medical information sheet that includes:

  • Current medications and dosages

  • Known allergies

  • Chronic illnesses or medical conditions

  • Recent surgeries or treatments

  • A copy of their insurance card

Store this information in an easy-to-access location, such as a shared digital document or a printed copy, in a binder at home.

Discuss Emergency Preferences With Your Parent

Talk with your parents about how they would like emergencies to be handled. Do they prefer to be treated at home when possible, or should you call 911 at the first sign of trouble? Would they want to be resuscitated if needed? These can be difficult conversations, but knowing their wishes in advance prevents stressful decisions later.

Know the Nearest Medical Facilities

Identify the hospitals and urgent care centers nearest to your parent's home. If they have a preferred doctor or hospital, check if emergency services can accommodate that preference. Some hospitals specialize in geriatric care, which could be crucial in choosing where to go during an emergency.

 Suppose your parent has been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's. In that case, researching memory care services in advance can help you understand available options should their condition progress. Memory care facilities offer specialized environments to keep individuals with cognitive impairments safe and comfortable while providing tailored medical support.

Set Up a Support System

Involve siblings, extended family, or close friends in your emergency plan. If you're the primary caregiver, designate a backup who can step in if you're unavailable. Having a shared family group chat or using an app designed for caregiving coordination can help keep everyone informed.

How to Create a Step-by-Step Plan for Medical Decisions

During a medical crisis, emotions run high, and quick decisions must be made. A clear plan ensures that you can make informed choices in alignment with your parent's wishes.

Step 1: Identify a Medical Decision-Maker

Who will be responsible for making healthcare decisions if your parents become incapacitated? Decisions may fall on the next of kin by default without legal documents. However, it's best to formally designate a healthcare proxy (a medical power of attorney).

Step 2: Understand Their Health Conditions

Talk with your parents and their doctor about any existing conditions and what to expect in the future. Understanding the potential progression of diseases such as dementia, heart disease, or diabetes can help you prepare for critical decisions down the road.

Step 3: Outline Treatment Preferences

Does your parent want to pursue all possible medical interventions, or would they prefer to avoid aggressive treatments? Discuss topics like:

  • Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders

  • Life support preferences

  • Use of feeding tubes or ventilators

  • Hospice or palliative care preferences

These preferences should be documented in an advanced healthcare directive.

Step 4: Coordinate With Their Primary Doctor

Establish a relationship with your parent's primary care physician and ask them to help outline a treatment plan. They can also provide a POLST (Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment) form that is useful in emergencies.

The Role of Advanced Healthcare Directives

An advanced healthcare directive is a crucial legal document that outlines a person's medical care preferences and designates someone to make decisions if they cannot do so themselves.

Why It Matters

An advanced healthcare directive ensures your parent's medical wishes are respected, prevents family disputes over care decisions, and helps doctors provide treatment that aligns with their values. It also reduces unnecessary suffering by avoiding unwanted medical interventions.

Essential Documents

A Living Will details the treatments they want or refuse in specific situations. A Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare designates a trusted individual to make medical decisions on their behalf. A Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order specifies whether CPR should be performed if the heart stops, while a POLST Form, signed by a doctor, provides clear instructions on treatment preferences for serious illnesses.

How to Set One Up

Many states offer free, notarizable templates, while eldercare attorneys can assist in drafting personalized directives. Hospitals and doctors' offices also provide resources for setting up these documents. Once completed, share copies with key family members, your parent's primary doctor, and their preferred hospital. Store the document in an easily accessible place to ensure quick action when needed.

Peace of Mind Through Preparation

No one wants to be caught off guard by a sudden health crisis, but taking proactive steps can ensure your parent's wishes are respected while easing the burden on your family. Start the conversation early to understand their preferences and concerns. Gather and organize essential medical and legal documents to be readily available when needed. Involve key family members in decision-making to create a unified approach to care. Seeking guidance from legal and financial professionals can also help you clarify complex issues.

By planning, you can face the unexpected with confidence and compassion. Your parents deserve the best possible care, and preparation is the key to ensuring their safety, comfort, and dignity.